I found it interesting today as I stood outside the school, waving goodbye to the bus that Chelsey occupied the front seat of. There was a small grouping of parents standing around. All of which had different feelings and opinions about the Grade 4 trip to Frank Slide.

 She was bouncing up and down beside her good friend and neighbour with a huge grin spread across her face. But I'm her Mom. I could tell. As excited as she was, there was a hint of nervousness there too.

Some of the parents were thrilled to be kissing their kid goodbye for a night. A night off. Of peace. A morning of one less lunch to make and one less spot to stop on their way to work or wherever they need to be the next morning.

Some of the parents were sad. Nervous to see their little one go. Vocal, voicing their displeasure at the school doing overnight field trips.

I felt somewhere in the middle. One half of me was excited for her. I have such fond memories of field trips and Brownie Camp. Trips with my friends. Because our family rule is no sleep-overs, I feel like this is an acceptable way for her to experience an over-night with her friends. A day and evening packed full of structured activities until they collapse on their sleeping bags and it's lights out.  But at the same time, I could see it in her eyes.

That fear.

The exact. same. fear. that was wedged between my shoulder blades, like if I took a deep breath it would leak out in the way of a sob. What if? What if she gets scared? or hurt? or has the awful feeling of being the very last one awake and just. cannot. fall. asleep?

What if..... she needs me?

I'm positive Chelsey will come home tomorrow with more stories than she'll have the breath or the energy to share. She'll have had a great time! Smelling of outside and exhaustion. She'll be cranky. She'll go to bed early.       And I'll sleep better knowing she's in the room beside mine. Hearing her lengthening limbs bang against the wall as she turns over in her bed.

It'll be something that she remembers for a long time. Maybe forever.

Tonight I supervised Ty pack for his trip tomorrow. He's so excited. I'm sure he'll have a great time too.

I'll be glad when we are all home under one roof again!