Day 3 - Happiness

How appropriate that today, being "day 3" is Happiness. Sunday's are always a bittersweet day for me. Mostly sweet. It's easier to feel happiness on a day where I've spend three hours at church filling myself up with lessons, friendships, scriptures, messages and most of all, the Spirit. I love furthering my knowledge of the gospel, the scriptures. I love seeing and visiting with friends and making new ones. I sometimes feel like by the end of the week I'm getting swallowed up by life and I need to get to church to remind myself....

The lesson in sunday school today was..... wait for it.... Happiness. Yep.

And I'm pretty sure it was just for me. (I must have a lot to learn because I feel that way every single Sunday). Bishop Holthe taught us about all of the many things we must do and qualities we must possess to be happy. I have been struggling lately with so many feelings that bring me down that sometimes I think joy and happiness just get squished out. It's hard to feel happy when I'm feeling bad about myself, or maybe for myself? I just don't know....

Every single week I sit through church and feel guilty about all of the many things I did wrong last week and silently promise myself to do better next week. I'm usually discouraged by about 9 o'clock Sunday night when I've already failed and I just need my kids to go to bed and leave me alone.
Why is it so hard sometimes to just feel happy? Seems like a simple enough idea...... A (very favorite) bishop of mine told me on many occasions that I am entitled to feel joy and that is one of the reasons why I am here on earth. So why is that sometimes so hard to feel?

Really, the list of qualities and things to do were just ideas of things we could be working on. And like a very smart friend of mine said "it doesn't matter what we are doing, if we're not doing it with the Savior by our side, then we will not reap the benefits of our doings - which is joy."

Bishop shared this scripture: Mosiah 4:27 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."

The "prize" = happiness.